So close yet so far

This post is going
to be full of whining , so if you are
looking for some 'interesting', 'fun' bites.
Please , stop right here.
I am in a terrible mood
and I want to lash out
at every one for no reason.

Well, there is one reason.
I have been dumped.
That too, Dumped on phone.
One might ask how I
could have been dumped
when I was not in a relationship.
Well, I was this close,
and I emphasize,
this close( now gesturing through my hands )
to a real relationship.

We met the 'oh so cliched'
way through chat.
He sounded interesting
and we exchanged numbers.
Now, I do, once in a while,
give my numbers to perfect stranger;
wishing them to turn out to be my prince charming
-a guy with all the right attributes,
mental and 'ahem' physical.
So we started immediately
on phone 'exploring' each other.

And here I was talking
to an interesting guy,
who did not sound as if he is another clone of Karan Johar
( nothing against him but I like my man to be MAN),
not talking about shoes, bags, diets and facials.
Here was a man who asked me,
in the old fashioned way,
my choice in food, films and books.
But being so Samantha like,
How I could not have been
cocky and raunchy.

And believe me-
my readers ( Does any one ever read this? ) -
I would have acted differently,
had I known this guy is
straight out of Victorian era and so prudish.
He talked in his sexy drawl in monosyllables;
while I was doing my bit of 'Ally Mcbeal"
( I must stop watching re-run of that series,
I have this awful tendency to pick on people's traits)
babbling stuff which was completely unrelated,
as I was unduly excited
at having found the RIGHT guy.
He was his cool, sophisticated best,
occasionally interrupting me;
asking me about whether I was
bordering insanity or not.
But I tried to do an 'Ally Mvbeal'.
Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time
and expected him to find it cute
that I am falling for him,
so head over heels.

So we talked, talked and talked
and came to the conclusion
that our tastes are much alike.
We both are non drinker, non smoker
persons loving serious movies.
We like hanging out with friends
and so on and so forth.
I am still clueless
where did I go wrong.
Should I have not chanaged
from my 'loose tongue', 'weirdly logical'
cute smart Ally personality
to this modern age sex goddess,
who never has bad sex twice,
who is never apologetic about her desire for sex
and who is not ashamed of having it in plenty, Samantha.

Well, to quote my 'would have been future husband',
the coup the grace was
when I asked him two 'objectionable' questions.
One was about his sexual preference
and other one was something
so inconsequential that I don't remember.
I still can't figure out
What was so 'profane about it'?
And why did he continue chatting with me,
when he could have outrightly hung up his phone,
showing his displeasure
over my overenthusiastic imaginary fantasies
( Did I tell you my chat id is Crafted_for fantasies??).

He didn't do any of these.
He simply told me
he found me too salacious for his taste.
Imagine, a gay guy,
sexually 'very' experienced by his own admission
-where in the gay world
one can't proceed without knowing the stats and preference-
telling me he found me vulgar and cheap
or to quote him
' people incapable of being included in his circle of friends' .

I did feel bitter,
and let down by prince charming,
and I cried ( I don't remember the last time I cried over a guy, or over ANYTHING).

I am trying to forget him.
I am trying to erase
those conversation from my mind.
I am trying to be myself, sexy and bitch.
I am hopelessly trying to
spew out my venom so that
I once again become pure.
It's all going in vain.
I must curse him ,
some sort of black magic,
some VooDoo.
Now my only last world
to that gentleman out there is:
" To hell with you and your prudish sensibilities."