Wrong Number, Madam!

Ok. Here comes the ceremonious year end post. On second thoughts, I am not good at lists of any kind. So why do things that I am not good at.

Besides, the year is three days away from close/end. (I don’t know the right word and I am too indifferent to check) and there are still possibilities that it could turn out eventful. Now, by eventful I would mean a year where I was not living like a nun in the second half. Speaking of nuns makes me remind the famous line in the movie ‘Milk’ which I caught last night. A little digression here, I recommend watching ‘Milk’ by every fag or non fag. For those of us, who still live in a false dreams of utopia in US / Western Countries this movie is a stark reminder. So what if the events depicted in movie took place some thirty years ago. Until we have people like Sarah Palin and her closeted republican cronies along with the sitting pope,  on grounds things are not very different for us;  and we certainly don’t need to be reminded constantly what’s ‘god’s way’. Anyway, the point is Sean Penn is excellent playing ‘Harvey Milk’ in this biopic and is strong contender for academy awards this year. He plays the role with unassuming ease and affability and I was disheartened to see, despite my thinking that we are all unique and blah, there were some very apparent resemblance to the body language and expressions of gay people in the movie that I saw in some of the people I met here in India.

Enough of the rant, I have almost forgotten what I wanted to post here.

Actually, I have not. Because it is something that gives me a ‘feel good’ feeling (speaking in my silly punjabi ‘Surinder Sahni’ish goofy smugness). So, without much ado, at the risk of sounding a braggart, let me share with you that I feel there have been three ‘girls’ who have given me some signal that they are interested in me. And all this at my workplace. Like most of gay guys, I am at ease interacting with female species ( it takes tons of efforts on my part not to give them some fashion advice) talking nineteen to dozen. I often play dumb in situations when discussion around relationships and such stuff takes place around me, even though I pretty much know what is the subtext and undercurrent of conversations, shifting glances, twitching of lips. Playing dumb is my favorite technique, it puts people offguard and at ease, without having to calculate their actions and I love it when I see it all unfolding in front of me.

Out of three ‘girls’ ( why does it have to be girls? ), there is one who is  particularly interesting. She is smart, intelligent, witty and funny. She and I both know that we both know we feel ‘drawn’ ( me asexually, of course J ) towards each other. For me, I always love intelligent company and any wittiness is always an added bonus. She is both.

Looks wise, I hardly care. However, to be fair on whoever reads this, she is not that ugly (read: petite), has style (can do with bit more make up) and looks clean ( That reminds me she doesn’t wear perfume, She Should. Not that she smells, just that it adds to the personality of a person). I would have dated her/ asked her out if only… 

However, I haven’t added that I do borderline flirting. I have always done that with my female friends and they always played along. Why I do it is a mystery to me since I have not been able to ‘flirt’ with a single ‘male’ friend of mine. 

Now, let me ask you this. What do you guys do when you get such ‘vibes’? Do you play or back out? 

In which we crib endlessly

Yesterday, Igot talking to a friend - technically not a friend but one of those people I am out to because of my existence on a gay social networking site- about our respective Sex love lives. Let’s call him Virtuous V. He has recently found someone for dating, which was quite evident from his radiant face and his efforts to lose weight, on the same website. I was more jealous than happy to hear that and I started to ask him about his affair and the ‘juicy’ details. In answer to which I got to know about his paramour’s 6’2” height and patiyala pedigree. He himself being a proud punju was beaming when he coyly discussed the stats, nevertheless I kept on nodding my head in strange detachment to this whole gay existential i-don’t-need-a-boyfriend epiphany that I had suddenly discovered.

I cribbed and whined about not getting responses, or rather ‘right’ response despite having a pretty ‘suggestive’ pic at the site. VV got amazed when I told him that I was getting lesser responses since that pic had been there for close to six months.

He gets amazed that I don’t have any ‘friends’ in the community as he has made five-six very good friends in spite of being super busy with two jobs. How did that happen, I ask him.  Ok, before that let’s go back how I got to know this guy.

VV messaged me on the same site around a year back telling me he was soon going to shift from Bombay to Delhi and was looking for possible boyfriend. Being the cynical guy I am, I gave him my standard reply that he was too goodlooking to be interested in me. He persisted and and I gave in by sending me my pics and phone number. Thankfully, he didn’t run away after seeing my pics . He would call me two to three times a day, interspersed with some inane SMS forwards which I found no time in deleting afterwards. He started talking about his area of work where I feigned some interest and asked him questioned after some bit of googling. Now, VV was highly educated, doing pretty OK in his career and most importantly sensitive enough to look over my average looks. ( He was sort of hottie, now I don’t find him that hot though)

So, what was the hitch.?

Most of the time, when I start interacting with anybody the question invariably turns to books. What books am I reading or have read etc etc? VV made a tactical mistake by telling me ‘Seven habits of highly successful people’ was the book he was reading then, and how life changing it had been for him. This particular book has its own importance in my life for being my first and last self help book I ever picked up ( didn’t have patience to finish that whole drivel). It was time for me to rethink. Here was a guy who waswilling to commit before we had even met once in person. Samantha Jones wouldn’t have approved of it and I concluded that he was too naïve, simple person.

 

Khair, to cut a long story short, much as I hate to judge people, I found him I was certainly not the person he was looking for. Later on, he came back to Delhi and I once pinged him once on the site to see how he was doing, and we kept in touch.

Yesterday, upon hearing my friendless, boyfriend less existence he asked me a few questions

Question 1 Do you follow up with the contacts you make ( read: hookups).

Answer1.Well, No!! I don’t follow up unless I am sure the person has brain and brawn. But I never call twice, and if the other person is not so enthusiastic, I don’t pester. 

Question 2: Do you make an effort to keep in touch with the people you like?

Answer 2: Sometimes yes. But, I have high self esteem. May be egoist. My best friend from school has not picked up my last three calls. People change, I know he has at least. I am not going to call him now. 

I am a taurean and very proud of being loyal in friendship or a relationship. I don’t do anything in half measure. I always think of others before me. My real friends who live everywhere except Delhi love me to the core. They make me feel what I think of myself without any inconsonance. 

Now, before I finish this rant I must add that though I am pretty cool guy, there are few things that perturb me. Chief among that is superciliousness. I like smart people and I know how to spot them. Secondly, I hate the favorite game played in Delhi Gay circle. Name dropping, precisely. I am not interested if you were invited to Rohit Bal’s Birthday party or how many times you had slept at Burman’s or Punj’s. I mean get a life guys.

Khair, enough of rant. I like abrupt endings.

My first tag

One of my most favorite bloggers Chrisann not only linked me to her blog, but also called me an 'old friend'. Beat that. That felt kinda nice. Wait, there is more. She also tagged me for a post. I have always wanted to be tagged. Inspite of being here, I was never tagged. Until now, that is.

So here it goes.

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?

The last movie I saw in theater was 'Rock On'. I went there because some colleagues insisted me to go. My inability to say no to such request came handy, and I didn't regret it at all.

2. What book are you reading?

Currently I am reading "Lunatic in my head' by Anjum Hasan. I wanted to read this since I read it's review here. I normally stay away from Indian fiction but this time I liked the concept of the novel with three very different protagonist, and its setting in a small town.

3. Favorite board game?

None, I am afraid.

4. Favorite magazine?

That's a tough one. My magazine seller never recommends any because he knows my eclectic taste. So I read Autocar India, Men's World, Outlook Business, Business World, India Today, Outlook, Economist, Home and Interiors, BBC Home, Femina, Marie Clare and The BIBLE- 'Cosomopolitan' ;)

Btw, my magazinewallh gives them all free to read because I am his regular patron for pirated books.

5. Favorite smells?

leathery, tobbaco notes.

6. Favorite sounds?

Wind Chimes

7. Worst feeling in the world?

That no one cares about you whether you live or die.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?

Do I really have to go to gym? Why can't I go tomorrow? Let's go in the evening.

9. Favorite fast food place?

Roadside Momos with lot's of chilly garlic chutney. My mouth is watering as I type this. I like it because it's healthy ( by not being oily), spicy and most importantly cheap.

10. Future child’s name?

hahaha, may be I will adopt one. Zarita: Meaning princess in spanish

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?

go on holiday..I have never gone on a holiday in the real sense.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

No. Never slept with stuffed toys. Though, I do need big cushions to support me

13. Storms - cool or scary?

Cool

14. Favorite drink?

Mojito..Though, I hardly drink I like mojito because of it's sweet and mint flavor

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?

I have all the time in world...I get terribly bored on weekends even to start thinking of five good reasons why I should not commit suicide.

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?

No.

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?

it would be Red. I have a thing for red heads. Kate Walsh, Julianne Moore, Cynthia Nixon

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?

that would be giving too much detail. More so because, they are so tiny town that it will hard to locate on a map.

19. Favorite sports to watch?

Gay and Sports?? You must be kidding. But, hey, I don't mind watching some hot wrestlers fighting it off, or those hot swimmers ;)

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?

She is very sensitive and emphatic. At times, knowing exactly what you feel without you having ot clearly articulate it.

21. What’s under your bed?
Some old mattresses. Wish it was Ranbir Kapoor.

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?

I am not too sure

23. Morning person, or night owl?

Night Owl

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?

Over.

25. Favorite place to relax?
My bed

26. Favorite pie?
Blueberry

27. Favorite ice cream flavor?
Lytchee

In which I give my thanksgiving speech

Nine comments on my last post!! I have finally arrived on the blogging scene। Where does this lead me? Am I going to fret over what my next post is all about- the way rambws suggest in his post, or I will write random stuff?

Thank you guys for reading whatever tripe I post here, and taking time to comment on it. ( Do book reviews get more comments?? I must do a few quickly to boost readership)

I think I am little charged now. I have give my Blog a 'Make better'. But, trust me, I am not gonna be flamboyant. Understated, classic elegance is more like my style. However, before all of this I have to figure out how to get these embellishments for my blog. I need a new "skin" template ( I think they still call it skin, no they call it template..I desperately need to know the way I can cross Skin )

I will put link to all my favorite blogs and will basically copy everything from flygye. I think I have made pretty much clear that I am not an original. I like smart work and don't believe too much in hard work, so I can lift off ideas from hear and there and make nice potpourri.

But before all that happens, I am gonna do something. As I have never mentioned anywhere in my blog that I am an art lover and aspiring painter ( among other things)..I will put a few pics of my work. No, Flygye.! You don't get any prizes for goading me to paint at 11:30 in night so that I can put those images in the morning. Though, you can be little lenient about my claims of being an above average painter and criticize my work mildly.

Do I have anything else to write। Yes, a few lines in hindi. hehe.
आज शाम को जब हम काम से वापस आ रहे थे, तब हमने बहुत अरसे के बाद एक जादुई शाम देखी। जादू शायद हमारी निगाहों में था, याफ़िर थकान हम पे हावी हो रही थी। पूरा आसमान बैंगनी, गुलाबी, नारंगी और कत्थई रंगों से लबरेज धीरे धीरे रात की काली चादर ओढ़ रहा था। हम सब कभी कभी जिंदगी की भाग दौड़ में इस कदर मसरूफ हो जाते हैं की अपने इर्द गिर्द हो रही चीज़ों की तरफ़ हल्का सा भी ध्यान नही जाता, वो सब एक ढर्रे पे चलती हुईं तस्वीरें बन जाती हैं, जिनका कोई ख़ुद का वजूद नही होता। वोह सिर्फ़ बंधी होती हैं एक कड़ी से, जिसका एक सिरा बीते कल में और अगला सिरा आने वाले कल में होता है। एक ऐसी कड़ी जो हमें बांधे तो हैं, पर वोह किस से बंधी है , इसका अंदाजा नही है। ना हमें, ना उस वक्त को! आज की इस शाम ने हमें फ़िर से याद दिलाया की जिंदगी में खूबसूरती बिखरी हुई है, ज़रूरत है तो सिर्फ़ इसे अपने जीवन मेंभरने की! शायद ये कोशिश जारी रहेगी! इंशा अल्लाह !!

Queer Eye for Straight Guy

Queer eye for straight guy debuted last night on Discovery Travel & Living, and being none too wiser I had to watch it to ascertain the queer quotient for myself. I won't bore you with the details which can be aptly described as how five 'fab' gay men give a straight man a 'make better' ( not a typical makeover, you see) encompassing his appearance, wardrobe, kitchen, , household and social skills.

I was expecting it to be a lot more fab, a lot more sensational and a lot more colorful. I think, the creator and presenters would have been a little off key in the first few episodes to gauge audience reaction to the new concept. While doing my pre-research for the show I found out that the also drew some flak for stereotyping gay men...I found all of them to be quite different, not like where they all are pinky pansies or muscled butch; thereby presenting a spectrum of 'rainbow' colors.
As I am opposed to any kind of categorization, I do feel that you don't have to be gay to have a fashion sense or have a clean, organized room. But, I do have to admit, albeit reluctantly, that more often than not gay men are better equipped to take care of things that most straight men mundane/ boring/ superficial ( all silly excuses) either because of their conditioning or their being plain lazy.

Have I ever been asked if I am gay because of my 'skills' in fashion, cooking, interior decoration, personal hygiene apart from being sensitive ( last one is really limit)...Having super intelligent friends does have its downsides, and them knowing my orientation without me having to spill everything is one of those downsides. :)


Update: Caught the second episode too. But it's a little too dull for my taste. They pick up the dirtiest, most un-groomed person and create a make better. Anyone can do that. ( read: gay) Why hire five people when I alone can do as much a good job :)