Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sex and the City Post

I went to watch Sex and the City movie on this Sunday evening. It was the only running show of the movie at 10 PM and I had nothing to do for the day, quite like all the other weekends. So, I decided to watch the movie alone. Before that I dropped on to a friend's place, who leads a completely insular life as he prepares for his civil services exams, and would be the last guy to know about sex and the city. I told him casually that I am going to watch this movie in an hour and did not even ask him to join me. Now, He dropped this information to some of the guys who live in his house as tenants when he went there to fix some problem.

Being a closeted a guy, I don't like people second guess me. It's not about whether or not they will be able to surmise about my sexuality, but more for my self satisfaction that I am this super intelligent dude who covers all his trails, leaving nothing behind for any one to think differently than what I want them to think ( I know it's weird )

The reason I do this is that I have in company of some super observant people-who I could sense had their reasons to doubt my sexuality. I remember- this very good friend of mine asking me in the middle of conversation, while we were surrounded by some six to seven other close friends if I was sure I was not gay. Much to his surprise, I knew he was up to some trick and I deftly passed that off as nonchalantly as I could. Why I mentioned all this is because I happened to bump into his tenant a few minutes later when he came again for something and we started talking. He gave me meaningful stares when he got to know that I was going for that movie alone. The movie being SATC.

I couldn't have cared less about what he felt. It was just a matter of always having the upper hand. Anyway, I decided to tell him I don't have any girlfriend and neither am I looking for one.

Let's talk about the movie. I have been a great fan of series and will tell you about its effect on my psyche while I was growing up in some other posts. Most of the comments I read later about the movie said the movie couldn't keep the promise of the series etc etc. But for me, I was too happy to see the foursome together on screen. I could empathize with some of the situations. I am a big fan of Samantha and Kim Katrall. I guess most gay men look up to her as an icon. She is unapologetic about anything she does. And subconsciously perhaps we all want to achieve that stage where we are completely in sync with out actions and thoughts. All in all, I had a great time watching the movie and it rekindled my spirits for all things glamorous and sassy. No wonder, I bought two shoes today!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I NV U ALL

I have just come from gym, still drenched in sweat, AC running on full blast in this humid Delhi weather, TV running in front me, and I am trying to blog something very imporatant. Not that important perhaps. I know, I will have second thought if I put this for some other time, In fact, I am strating to have thoughts while I am typing this.

A rant against every one and no one.

I hate cribing , I hate rants, and I will hate myself for writing this all. Because, I like to believe I am this super strong, emotionally insulated guy who can put up with everything. And lest that facade once again takes over my senses, my life, I am gonna spill it all out.

As I mentioned this post is going to be about rants, I am going to to use the word envy.

I envy: people who have both parents alive and caring for them.
I hate: when these people don't realize what they have got and all the time rant against how their parents don't understand them.

I envy: when I call someone and find their phone line busy
I hate: when no one calls me. I don't get personal calls often ( there aren't many 'official' calls either but that's a different issue) most often when I have left my cellphone for hours somewhere, i reach for it in anticipation only to find in return that there has not been a single call

I envy: people who are carefree. who don't give a damn about any one. who are ready to leave jobs/ career/ family without much thought.
I hate: when I keep deliberating and deliberating..and most often miss the window of opportunity

I envy: people who can use foul language
I hate: when i get uncomfortable when somebody uses foul languages and I somehow show my displeasure despite my full efforts at trying to disguise my expression

I envy: people who can remain slim with all that garbage that they keep eating
I hate: when I can't fit into my old clothes

I envy: all good looking people who are so fortunate to have born that way. how does the 'karma' theory fit in here?? Was I a sinner in past life or I am getting uglier because of bad karma?
I hate: people who have insane amount of money to spend on their looks