Instant Filter: Coffee - Contradiction Galore

There is this guy whom I personally don't know, but know about him through his appearances in the infamous delhi chat room 22. I know a few things about this guy like where he is from and what he does etc, from a few social networking sites he has created his 'real' profile on. There used to be a time orkut was not that inflesxible for snooping guys like me. Most of the people who visit this room will identify him ( No, I am not mentioning about the guy who gives his travel route every evening so that somebody can 'pick' him up). This guy is a doctor and perhaps pursuing his post grad course ( These medicos! they keep studying all their lives). Now, what initially caught my fancy in this guy was his hoarse cries in the chat room asking for any one 'educated'. Confident of being an educated sophisticated guy, I pinged him. To my surprise, He asked me," Are you a doctor?" I replied, "No. I am not". End of conversation. Not that it was a bad day for him or me. This scene has repeated quite a few time. He often comes online and asks " Any doctor/ engineer in this room?"

Did I feel insulated/ offended by his repsone. No, I was not. I was amused. I was amused at the thought process of some people. Now, I am fully aware that how our matrimonial pages are filled with adverts for 'Medico bride wanted', but isn't this a same kind of parochial thinking reflected here. There will be people who may think that being from the same profession will let the'couple' understand each others issues/ concerns/ life style in addition to regular dining table conversation some of which may go like "That hysterectomy case became serious after Hypokalemia causing rhabdomyolysis. I had to rule out Bartters syndrome and Gitelmans syndrome with rhabdomyolysis due to severe hypokalemia." I don't know many who will jump with delight on hearing such interesting chain of thought to go along with their morning Tea.

This case must be an extreme. And to those people who disbelieve me, I suggest spend some time in the chat room to witness this doctor's call. However, there is a deeper point here. As human beings we all have tendencies to make snap judgments, which some researchers have found are more often than not correct ( Read 'Tipping Point' for the detailed view on this theory). But if I remember clearly, as with every other fad theory the writer in this book has also advised caution to excercise this a little too frequently without discretion. We all try and make judgments, filter people and categorize them to put them in different boxes for convenience of our brain. If somebody is sikh, he has to be loud, loose with his verbal volleys, has a thing for butter chicken and daru and will dance to his guts everytime a bhangara song is played out. Not that I am above such categorization, I think we choose the easy way because we are too lazy to make an effort know someone. We are too eager to fill in the blanks after we know someone superficially, some times without even knowing them. Just by having a look at them ( I do it most when I see a very goodlooking guy/ gal dismissing them to be dumb. But in my heart, I so wanna be proved wrong about this. And I have been proved wrong in a few cases involving member of opposite sex, though)

How easy it is to filter. How easy it is so call someone 'not my type' because he/ she doesn't listen to songs I like, doesn't like the movies I like, nor do they look and speak the new lingua franca of India 'english' like me. I know I am stretching the stereotype a little too far here. But don't we get judged and judge others in return. I have been asked this a number of time whether I am a product of much famous 'elite' school of my home town. People presume that I think in a certain way, so I should be in this profession. I mean if I can tell apart a ritu kumar and JJ vallaya just by looking at the ensemble, it doesn't make me a fashion guy ( A gay guy perhaps ;) )

I have never travelled to west. But what I have gathered from pop culture, it tells me that most of the people give two hoots about a lot factors given consideration here in India. Factors such as where you live ( any think less than south delhi is blasphemy ), how fluent you are in english ( most of the guy here will not blink an eye before they agree to sleep with Christiano Ronaldo), what care you drive and how much money you make ( the previous question is used to make an estimate of your net worth because asking salary package is not considered polite - unless you meeting prospective in laws). Miranda from Sex and the City is an example- may be fictionalized, but what about Matt Damon and George Clooney? Well, not that everybody has to agree with me, but for dating one only needs an 'interesting' person. Interesting may be a very broad term but it's still better than making someone a series of stats. Looks are important and cannot be denied in real world, but there is always more to a person than his/her looks ( I hate to be stereotyped as gay blogger coz being gay is just one of the things that make me a person. And I find there are far more interesting thing in me than my sexual orientation)

I am an avid follower of Grey' Anatomy. In the first few episodes of third season, when doctor Burke is shot in hand and he is unable to gain full control of his hand after his surgery, we get to see a moral dilemma in Christina. Who does she love? Preston Burke the guy who love her or Doctor Burke who is the best heart surgeon in the entire west coast? The question is essentially what defines the person you love, and whether you love what defines him/ her or the person in question. Love is always selfless. You can't love or pretend to love an attribute of a person. What if that attribute is gone? ( I have not taken any kind of physical deformity to illustrate my point deliebrately) Will I stop loving my mom because she was not what she used to be -beautiful and able to care for me? I did not and I will not.

What am I trying to suggest here?? That you go out with all sort of people without any discrimination. No, That will be absurd. It's just that we need to be a little more open minded and flexible, and most importantly a bit patient. Patient to know the person before of us. Because sometime we ourselves start believing in the facades we create and lies we tell ourselves.

Brothers and Sisters

I am not a professional TV reviewer, neither am I in nay way connected with scripting, dialogue writing or acting departments of soaps ( though I wish I could, but alas, there are as many things one can do in one's life), but I am all for quality TV watching. With all the free available time at my disposal, I am quite a keen TV watcher. Now, there was a soap, which was high on my wish list, and which I couldn't watch much because my hard-disk was full with all the three season of Grey's anatomy. The show was Brothers and Sisters. Now, god bless teh souls at Star Word wo decided to air this shown in India. The show has a stellar cast and two of favorite actresses viz Sally Fied and Calsita Flockheart. Calista is seen after her long hiatus, and with old episodes of Ally Mcbeal airing on Zee Cafe, it certainly has added to my fondness for her.

Brothers and Sisters is an altogether different show produced by the same guys as 'Alias', though it does feature a few actors from 'Alias' in important roles. And, yes, I almost forgot, the most important fact that it has a lead character playing a gay attorney. I know, it's so hard to get the above combination of gay + attorney ( anything related to do with brains in INDIA, If any guy disagrees and has brains, kindly drop me a message) when all the people who you meet either turn out to be working in a BPO or some shoddy fashion House. Speaking of fashion houses, I had watched entire jassi, and let me tell you that, I had huge expectations from Ugly Betty but it was such a damp squib. Jassi was much more interesting and entertaining. On the other hand, Ugly Betty looks like one of our saas -bahu soaps where a mystery woman schemes and plots to upstage the hero..so very balaji..they must sue these people.



So, I was talking about this whole Brother's and Sisters, and the reasons I like the show. First reason is that they shot in LA. Ohh, I love California weather and the whole sunny side of things..You don't get to see a single ugly frame. Secondly, I love families. I just love the fact that despite getting angry, fighting over, calling each other name, there will remain people who don't stop loving you. It sound so cliched, but to emphsize my point, one really realizes its importance when you don't have anybody to fight with, knowing that they will be there for you despite all that. Thirdly, I love Calista Flockheart ( I still don't know if I have got her name's spelling right. Google will be too much of a bother). She does not play Ally Mcbeal, but it'd hard to miss traces of here Mcbeal days. especially when she starts speaking real fast, and gets edgy about her relationships. she is a lovely actress, and I 'd like to see more of her..A little digression, Calista Flockheart auditioned for Teri hatcher's role in Desperate Housewives. I am glad that she didn't do that role, coz Teri is just so perfect.

Now comes the real clincher, the gay brother of Calsita, I don't like him per se ( in the sense I am not over the moon over him). But, it is such a relief to see someone playing gay role in a not stereotypical profession. He is not he best looking guy around, but its not as if you would not notice him if he were in a room. I know, I am sounding a little desperate housewives myself..maybe this obsession has been rubbed off from too much of ally Mcbeal,But who cares..I jsut wish there were more interesting people in this world.
ahhh..where are you, My Mr Right